Sunday, April 26, 2009

Opinion: Guest Columnist Rapie McRape.

Hi, folks, shout out to all my peeps out there. I gotta say, theres a lot of shitty biatchs out there. Like why is it that if you have a little too much to drink, end up having a bit of nonconsensual sex, and then all of a sudden some ho starts running around town calling you a "rapist." What about all of those other days where I didn't rape anyone?  And before you know it, everyone is yelling "rapist!" at you: The police, the district attorney, your mom...Please, I'm a gentleman--it's not as though I tossed out of a moving car or left her in a ditch. I gave her a back rub afterwards (totally consensual), mixed her an appletini,  and told her I still thought she was pretty. Although I wouldn't go out with her again because she's a whore. But that's aside the point.  Yes, there were a few tears, a bit of crying, a rape kit, but hey! Let's not make a mountain out of a molehill! You hear me, Veronica? We cool? We cool, right? 

We better damn well be cool or I'll cut your ass bitch.

Your pal, 
Rapie McRape.
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