Things Which Cannot Be Improved Upon (Or: Sometimes Satire Just Writes Itself).

John Yoo (not Woo) on the torture memos:

Interviewer: Did you regret writing the so-called torture memos, which claimed that President Bush was legally entitled to ignore laws prohibiting torture?

Response (remember, these are actual quotes):

No, I had to write them.

It was my job.

As a lawyer, I had a client.

The client needed a legal question answered.

Now that sounds pretty serious to me, especially when you look at it in a scary font:

No, I had to write them. It was my job. As a lawyer, I had a client. The client needed a legal question answered.

But what happens when you put them into a cute font with a funny border?

No, I had to write them. It was my job. As a lawyer, I had a client. The client needed a legal question answered.

 

Looks a bit better, don’t you think?  A bit more reasonable? Now, let’s add something else to reduce the threat level:

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No, I had to write them. It was my job.  As a lawyer, I had a client. The client needed a legal question answered.

 

Wow—I’m astounded.  We cut & pasted a move from the Josef Stalin playbook, mixed it with coconut oil and high-fructose corn syrup, and now it’s ready to rammed down America’s throat.

 

 

 

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