The Cultural Superiority Of Kenya Over Norway.

by David Brooks

Wow, I was reading something in a newspaper somewhere that sounded semi-factual so I decided to write a column about it.  Have you noticed that in spite of their skiing ability, Norwegians are terrible elephant poachers? I decided to investigate this by reading the Republican Party talking points and skimming the Reinhold Niebuhr Wikipedia page.  Those sources would certainly tell me everything I need to know in order to write something about elephant poachers that would agree with my pre-existing biases.

For example, Norwegians are a load of mindless socialists who have lost their independent pioneering Viking heritage of exploration, rape, pillage, and slaughtering little children on the ends of their spears for sport.  So the Real Vikings must have moved to America (or more precisely, Wisconsin and Minnesota) ages ago.  The Norway of today, unfortunately, has fallen prey to the bright shiny trout lure of collectivism, and while this might garner some Olympic gold medals by government support of training and coaching (see Recipe For Olympic Success), surely it can't be worth the cost to a man's soul to live in a country where his child might receive timely medical care without filling out a slew of medical forms and then being told none of your doctors accept Medicaid patients because the reimbursement is so low but we'll cut your foot off if you get diabetes thank you very much.  And that's how we love things in America.

And now contrast the testicle-choking muck, slime and filth of Scandinavian Collectivism (not that I'm opposed to testicle-choking per se) with the proud tradition of pioneering individualistic elephant poaching that continues to this day in Kenya.  These guys are like the freakin' Terminator--they can track an animal for days with barely any food or water, survive on the savanna, blow away an elephant and saw off some ivory faster than you can say Bush has persistence and leadership skill.  Ands some will even leave a suicide note next to the elephant to sow confusion in the any subsequent investigation.  Let's see Norway match that.  Can they? No, all they have is whaling, and that's simply another example of collectivism.  Though it does end in the death of huge animal, so I do tentatively approve.

Nonetheless, let's remember one very important thing, the thing that proves that Individualism is infinitely better than Collectivism: Kenyans are culturally superior to Norwegians because they can kill an elephant.  Have you ever heard of a Norwegian killing an elephant? Me neither.  I think I've proved my point.

And by the way, don't even think about writing to the editors of the New York Times.  I'm a columnist so apparently I can spout any stupid crap that comes into my mind as long as I don't use racial epithets.





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OPINION

Yes, I'm Smug, Stupid and Bald, But I'm On TV And You're Not

by David Brooks

That's right, I can go on and on about how reasonable and pragmatic President Obama is, but as usual, since I'm a shameless smug bastard compensating for being a bald sexless troll, I'll just do a 180 at the last minute and embrace the angry mob. After all, the American people are not always right, but their basic sense of equilibrium is worthy of the profoundest respect. After all, didn't Dr. Frankenstein respect the mob? No--and look what happened to him.

Of course, by Americans I mean Real Americans, by which of course I mean old white people who descended from those idealists who were able to grab the most from the stupid freedom-hating aborigines who refused to love democracy or invent machine-guns. It is these wondrous White Americans, the heirs of The Greatest Generation, who seldom knew want or need or racial discrimination--it is these wondrous folk who truly understand Freedom. Because if you've never experienced oppression, surely you then must know what freedom means. That is why the Queen knows more about Freedom than anyone.

And it is precisely this lack of experience with hardship and oppression that has led them to see that they not only do not have to do anything for anyone else--in fact, they should not do anything for anything else. Except to earn as much money as possible. So let's embrace this angry pitch-forked mob, this most unreasonable gathering of un-deprived heroes, this coddled lot who have banded together to bravely fight for their Medicare and Social Security benefits, who want their wars without paying for them, who want clean food and water without the slightest sacrifice, who want a civil society without paying for schools or hospitals or public health of any kind, who haven't any sight of a common good beyond their monthly pensions or benefits or any change in their tax return: These brave many who together stood up and screamed, "Me!", this Spoiled Generation. For they are the past but they vote a hell of lot.

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POLITICS

Get A Blast Of Gun Truth In Your Face

by gunZtoLUV

Technorati Tags: Gun Control,2nd Amendment

From http://www.gunblast.com/Gun_Facts.htm

QUICK GUN FACTS Derived from Gun Facts by Guy Smith FACT: The non-gun homicide rate for children in the U.S. is more than twice as high than other western countries. Eight times as many children die from non-gun violent acts than from gun crimes.

I can only speak for myself but I am relieved to discover that when someone beats the shit out of his kid, he usually doesn't need a gun. Terribly relieved.

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Stop talking to me, dog!

I told you, I'm not killing anyone when Family Guy is on! I don't care if it's a repeat, for your information. { background-color:blue; }

Science: Worth It?

Yes: science conquered polio but what of the soul? What good is it to have limbs you can use when just going to end up in the unprovable-but-certainly-exists Great Inferno? And think of all the time you can spend reading The Bible when
you're inside of an iron lung! True, very difficult to turn a page, but
Jesus will do it for you through mysterious means, such as a breeze coming through the window and flipping to the next page right when you're middle of a Hebrew castration metaphor).

Or maybe scientists will make a page-turner for you, you know, if Jesus commands them. { background-color:blue; }

Editorial: More BBC filth.

Here's a recent BBC headline: Australia probes navy 'sex game'. Sickening. What the hell is wrong with you people? This is exactly why England is a shadow of itself--it went the way of Rome. Just look at the Queen! See what frolicking did to her!

LET FREEDOM RING!!!

Gunz2Luv out. One to beam up, Mr. Heston. { background-color:blue; }

Gunz2Luv: He Deserves Every Cent!

Wayne LaPierre deserves every cent he makes (about 1 trillion of them)! Every year is he out there, protecting the 2nd Amendment rights of American heroes such Chai Vang, who defended his FREEDOM in Wisonsin in 2005; it is precisely the racist Dumbocrats that want to take away the ability of ethnic freedom fighters such as Mr. Vang. Without an assault rifle, we can only shudder at how easily the right of minority ethnic groups could be impinged upon. { background-color:blue; }

Guest Columnist Gunz2Luv: Socialism is attempting to destroy us and take our guns.

Socialism is attempting to destroy us and take our guns.
Obama's attempts to perpetuate the economic downturn of our economy is the first step in implementing a Muslim agenda! By taking over our banks and eliminating interest rates, they hope to create a Muslim banking system. This will shortly be followed by revoking the 2nd Amendment and disarming all Christians in the nation. { background-color:blue; }