How the hell did Norm MacDonald become head of the Democratic Party?

YouTube - Charlie Rose - Tim Kaine

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NOVEMBER 2010: IT'S ALL HAPPENING AGAIN.

And suddenly, a million voices cried out, "IT'S 2004 ALL OVER AGAIN.  THIS IS WORSE THAN THE PHANTOM MENACE. WAY, WAY WORSE. ITS A NIGHTMARE FROM WHICH THEIR IS NO WAKING. IT'S A MADHOUSE, A MADHOUSE...."

And then there was the sound of a million cans of Foster's Lager being opened, and then...silence.
election
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DAMN ME! DAMN ME TO HELL! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

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Clarence Thomas: "Please Remember All The Women I Didn't Rape"

Hi, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas here.  Just wanted to remind everyone, in spite of what certain ho's, bitches, and plain whack-ass cunts may have told you, I am not a creepy sex-pest.

After all, there are literally hundreds of millions of women in the world that haven't accused me of rape, fondling, stalking, sexually harassing, making vulgar and repulsive comments about their breast size, ass-grabbing, tit-smacking, crotch-holding, or proffering my self-published weekly newsletter  of porn reviews ("The Justice With Justice Thomas").


So just remember THAT.  And as fellow conservative David Brooks has noted, it's really all about character, isn't it?  And believe me, I'm still the electrocution-loving, justice-for-those-who-can-afford it guy I've always been. Besides, I have what ever black man dreams of--a REAL WHITE WOMAN.  I'M YOUR BOYFRIEND NOW BITCH nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom. { background-color:blue; }

Jesus Wants To Know More About Jesus

Our Lord And Savior:
"I want to know more."

Jesus H. Christ, how do I find out more about Jesus?  Is there some kind of information out  there about me?  Perhaps people could come to my door and give me information? Or perhaps a web site? A web site would be cool.  

Or you know what? A book. A book with information about me.  Or better yet, a Kindle-format book so I can keep that book in my coat pocket and access it at any given time (like when I'm waiting in line for movie tickets to the next Lego Star Wars).

Or perhaps a radio show, or even a television programme, or hell, even an entire network, devoted to people to discussing me and whatever it was I did.  A few movies and musicals would be very nice as well and spread my message, although that message seems to be interpreted in radically different ways by different people.  Also something on iTunes about me would be good, why yes, even an entire radio station devoted to sharing information about me--but in musical form!

Well, I'm just throwing these ideas out there, although I'm afraid that no one is paying attention. { background-color:blue; }

Obama Counting On Black People Who Are Not Condalezza Rice

Example of voter Obama is not counting on.

Op-Ed Columnist - Threat Response - NYTimes.com

In other news, white people still confused by the name "Condoleezza". { background-color:blue; }

Unemployed Avid NY Times Subscriber Belongs To Highly Uncoveted 'Loser' Demographic

The New York Times - Breaking News, World News & Multimedia


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Tea Party? Racist? No, We Just Like Racist Photoshop Jobs

  From http://obambi.wordpress.com, with the caption "Eric Schmidt's favorite photo."

But racist? Please. { background-color:blue; }

When I Talk, People Listen. As in LISTEN.

Response to Message #95088:

Dear mark,

Thank you for contacting NPR.

We appreciate you sharing your concerns with us. We strive to offer the highest quality of news and information available. Listener feedback helps us to accomplish this goal.

We welcome both criticism and praise, and your thoughts will be taken into consideration.

Thank you for listening, and for your continued support of public broadcasting. For the latest news and information, visit NPR.org.

Sincerely,
Kenya
Office of the Ombudsman
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GOP Supports 'Tunnel To Afghanistan' Stimulus Plan

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Fighting For Oil Without Oil In Order To Keep Saudi Oil American

U.S. Military Orders Less Dependence on Fossil Fuels - NYTimes.com { background-color:blue; }

Thank You, Ralph Nader, Thank You So Fucking Much

Let's see, what did your little presidential bid do for us, exactly? Iraq, Guantanamo, Military Tribunals, "Justice" Roberts, and then Alito. Good job. Way to go, shithead. { background-color:blue; }

Jon Stewart Was Right - About Everything!

Obama offered a New New Deal, but once elected, seemed to decided that the Old Deal just needed fluid change and replacement of worn belts.

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Announcement from the editor of Hypothermia Girls

Greetings, as all of the world is probably aware by now, our site, "Hypothermia Girls", promised 'Cold Girls In Hot Hypothermic Action.'  Sadly, the families of the most hypothermia victims were surprisingly un-cool with our unauthorized use of medical case file information or photos of victims taken without consent.  Furthermore, it has been nearly impossible to find willing models within our current budgetary restraints, and therefore it is with very, very heavy hearts that we must announce an end to our venture.

*note: please stay tuned for news on our upcoming site, Comatose Girls. { background-color:blue; }

"Looks Like We All Have Something New To Be Afraid Of"

Anne Applebaum - China's quiet power grab

Man, this is good news. I am so bored of being afraid of Islam--it's just not frightening me anymore. The fire's gone out of my belly.  

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Texas: World History Should Not Include History Of World

Texas Board of Ed: Textbooks Are Anti-Christian - CBS News

Mental Purity Decontamination Act Passed By Texas Legislature:
Texas' historians have determined that "nothing of any interest has ever happened outside of Texas", and "if something of interest has happened outside of Texas, we certainly do not need to know about it, nor do should our children be exposed to these alleged 'events' which may or may not have happened.  Therefore, all extraneous elements of world history, such as Asia, Africa, Europe, Antarctica, and Jurassic Park, shall be removed from any future history texts used in Texas classrooms in order to prevent further contamination of the minds of young Texans."

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Republicans Unveil "Pledge To What We'll Do To America"

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So, Just To Restate What The Perfectly Obvious Which Everyone Already Knows...

Op-Ed Columnist - Downhill With the G.O.P. - NYTimes.com:
"So the clear and present danger isn’t that the G.O.P. will be able to achieve its long-run goals. It is, rather, that Republicans will gain just enough power to make the country ungovernable, unable to address its fiscal problems or anything else in a serious way. As I said, banana republic, here we come."

In other words, as goes California, so goes America.

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SOMETHING SOMETHING: Sewer Lines Destroyed After Glenn Beck Claims They Run With Rivers Of Gold

A hysteric wave of sewer line breaks broke out across America today after Glenn Beck announced that they were being used to conceal Obama's "rivers of gold" from taxpayers.  In other news, 911 emergency centers have been inundated by callers asking if "U.S. moonbases have been given to Kenya or the U.N.?"

In business today, shares of Glenn Beck's Hardware And Prospecting Supplies Corporation  has seen an 700% increase in share price since this morning.
Glenn Beck

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Department Of Too Good To Be True But It Is.

Newt Gingrich Speaking in Forbes

"What if [Obama] is so outside our comprehension, that only if you understand Kenyan, anti-colonial behavior, can you begin to piece together [his actions]?" Gingrich asked. "That is the most accurate, predictive model for his behavior."


"This is a person who is fundamentally out of touch with how the world works, who happened to have played a wonderful con, as a result of which he is now president," Gingrich added.


"I think he worked very hard at being a person who is normal, reasonable, moderate, bipartisan, transparent, accommodating -- none of which was true," Gingrich continues. "In the Alinksy tradition, he was being the person he needed to be in order to achieve the position he needed to achieve. ... He was authentically dishonest." { background-color:blue; }